I've been in mexico for around 3 weeks now with no problems. Need cash? Boom, ATM. 500 pesos here, 500 there, I live comfy. Travelling for this long though has made my clothes about as pleasant smelling as grandma's corpse on a summer day. Well I am a man of atleast some hygiene so I drop them off at a lavanderia. Unfortunately the won't be washed until the next day so I'm stuck freeballing is swim trunks. Not an issue though, a chill night in and I'll grab them in the mañana for only 20 pesos. As the night goes on I try to withdraw some cash from an ATM for some food. An error message pops up on the first one. And the next one. And the next one.
What the hell is this? There is no way I've blown through that much cash. What institution, after 3 weeks in a foreign country, would freeze an account. Bank of fucking America, that's who. I have no phone that works in Mexico, and I'm half naked, with no money to get my cash. The only thing I have is my nook to get in contact with my bank. The following is a real, unedited, conversation with a
Welcome to an online chat session at Bank of America. Please hold while we connect you to the next available Bank of America Online Banking Specialist. Your chat may be monitored and recorded for quality purposes. Your current wait time is approximately 0 minutes. Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for choosing Bank of America. You are now being connected to a Chat Specialist. For security purposes, please remember to close your chat window when completed.
Jet: Hello! Thank you for being a valued Bank of America customer! My name is Jet. May I have your complete name?
You: Hey i{m in mexico. you guys froze my account. Please unfreeze it because i{m sitting half naked in an internet cafe because i cant get 20 pesos to get my laundry
You: and it really, really sucks being an improperly dressed sunburned white boy in mexico
You: Jara buchholz
Jet: Hi, Jara. I understand that you are inquiring to unfreeze your account.
Jet: Let me check that for you and do my best to assist you on this matter.
Jet: Can you kindly verify the last four digits of the account you are concerned about?
You: 2818
Jet: Thank you for providing me with the necessary information.
Jet: I'll be with you shortly.
You: no problemo
Jet: Upon reviewing your account I do see that your card was on restriction status.
Jet: You don't have to worry with it.
Jet: You just have to call our ATM Customer Protection Service Specialist.
You: but i'm in mexico. no telefono
You: so you can see how this is a problem
You: because i've been trying to skype for the last 1/2 hour and it just ain't working out
You: so whatever you need to know i can give it to you, mothe's maiden name, favorite pet, whatever. but we gotta get this taken care of
Jet: I understand and I can really relate to that, however if you have friend that you can call please try to contact our Service Specialist, since this is the only way for you to make your card open again.
Jet: Please contact ATM Debit Card Customer Protection at 1.602.597.2395. They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
Jet: This is a collect number so it is free. Bank of America pay the fee on this call./
Jet: I apologize for the typo error.
Jet: Rest assured that I will not provide you a specialized department number unless and until it becomes absolutely necessary as providing a number defeats the purpose of you chatting with us and we providing you quick solution to your concern.
You: Jet, If your company leaves me stranded on my vacation in puerto escondido{m exico. with no money, no way to pay for food or water, and no way to get back home, so help me god I' will work my way up the corporate ladder until i bitch slap the CEO and file a lawsuit for the near death experience that would be inflicted upon me. so maybe you guys want to try and call my skype
Jet: I understand you situation and we really want to help you with this. Do you have friend or relative that have a phone with them? If they have you can right away call our Service Specialist.
You: I hear where you?re coming from, Jet. But I'm here. Alone. With no phone..
Last text message received
Jet: I understand. I'll be with you shortly.
You: I'll be right here
This was the last I heard of Jet. Through facebook I convinced the girlfriend of an old highschool friend to call the bank on my behalf. For only meeting her once, I ask a lot of this chick, but like Dominoes Pizza, she delivers fast and on time.
Here's a special message just for Jet, if he does some how read this. What the fuck do you mean you can "understand" and "relate" to my experience. When was the last time you were half naked in a mexican internet cafe? How many times have you flashed your nut sack at foreign children because your bank has the reasoning ability of a brain dead chimpanzee. Fuck you Jet. Next time put the monkey on, atleast he'll make me laugh.
No comments:
Post a Comment