Sunday, May 13, 2012

Stabbed in the Face

     Isaac and I have spent the last couple days chilling out and having a pretty cool time.  But you know what I want to do?  I'm down for some fishing.  Unfortunately every fisherman wants around 400 pesos an hour to take us on the water.  Fuck you 400 pesos!  So me and Isaac set off for some less financially draining fun,  cliff diving.

     Right across from Playa Zicatella is this old spanish stone bridge about two or thee stories above the water.  We walk up and see 10 year olds flinging themselves like rag dolls from the rock face.  If you've never seen a 10 year old mexican belly flop from 3 stories up, it's pretty spectacular.  Personally I liked how he would hit the water like it was concrete, then sink.  But damn if he wasn't tough as nails.

    Following suit, I jump in followed by Isaac, from a slightly lower altitude.  This continues as we try to avoid the sea urchins that are on every rock under the water.  My muchacho is convinced that they, along with puffer fish, eels, and nearly everything else under the water are deadly and out to get him.  Looking up I see something deadly and awesome in the hands of a local fisherman.  Its a hawaiian sling. A fishing spear.

   I. Must. Have. This.

   Excited as all hell, I pay him a hundred pesos for it, though it's probably worth about twenty.  I truly don't care. I want to stab something.  I throw on my goggles, dive without hesitation, and ready the spear.  Me and Isaac take turns mock shooting it at each other, which is about the nautical equivalent of pointing a loaded gun at someone.  Me being the stronger swimmer, finally submerge to do some serious hunting.  Little fishies scurry around the rocks, oblivious to the danger.

    Welcome to hell my fishy friends.  A few misses to start but I soon become deadly.  I wage war on the innocent angels, slaughtering whole schools.  This is not a hunt, it's a genocide.  In my head I can hear their tiny, bubbly screams as I skewer them like kebabs.  Then one comes up to me and stares me right in the eyes, his defiance a true symbol of courage.  Like the man in Tiananmen Square he will not be moved.


   SO I STAB THE LITTLE BASTARD RIGHT IN HIS FACE!!!!  MWAHAHAHA!!!!

 
      My bloodlust satisfied I crawl onto the rocks where Isaac and I take stock of our kills.  Not bad sir, we've filled up a whole bag with fresh fish.  Now I know the whole story was filled with terrible violence, and some new hate mail from PETA is fresh on it's way, but I don't just kill for the sake of killing.  Not my style.  In order to win back some karma from the icthyo-genocide we hand the fish over to people who can really use it.  Homeless mexican cripples.  Yep, Jara done good.

   The food chain was followed, the poor ate, and we wrapped the whole experience up with a celebratory smoke session on the water.  Esta bien.

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